Random Pizza Delivery Stories Are The Best/Worst Thing

“The rule where I work is a customer is told the food will be at their in 30-40 minutes. I got to the house 5 minutes early. I rang the doorbell twice. I knocked on the door twice. No response. Dialed their number to only get a voicemail. I start to walk back to my car to see a mid thirties Latino women in a towel yelling at me because we said 30 minutes not 25. Apparently 30 minutes was long enough for a shower but not 25.. No tip.”

“Football season is big tip season. All you have to do is check their jersey and ask how the team is doing. Smooth sailing from there. Cash money paper trail.”

“Servers work a stressful job. Worrying about fucking up constantly, you know a very hard job. The general rule of thumb is to tip about 20%. Never will I ever understand how a more dangerous job, a job that you have to pay for your own gas. Also, a job that puts a lot of wear and tear on your car. Gets far worse tips than a server. Not saying I deserve more, just saying that nothing on a $90 dollar total is completely unacceptable. By any regards.. No tip.”

“No. I fucking don’t. Guy didn’t tip me because he claimed that the money will go to my boss. He also said i don’t pay for my gas anyways so why should he help me out. Like what? I don’t know who was the first person to say that the drivers don’t even get to keep the tips, so let’s just not tip. To whomever was the first person to say that was, fuck you. You’re plaguing us all.”

“A cop watched me deliver to a house. Followed me for 3 blocks before pulling me over. Didn’t ask for license, he just asked me if the food was good. I don’t have a problem with cops, but this shit is not okay. Like im working and so are you so fuck off and find out for yourself like everyone else.”

“This guy cut me off and I steered off the road into the snow. Called AAA. They said it will be a three hour wait. So I called my boss and had a pizza delivered to my car for free. After I got out I drove to see Deadpool. Good times.”

“Delivered to a low income neighborhood. The doors slam shut automatically. A black guy answers the door and takes the food from me and goes to head back in. (Didn’t pay yet) I saw a kid sleeping in a crib so I held the door open so it wouldn’t slam. Guy tells me I don’t trust his kind and I’m racist. He says “You racist cracker fuck, you oppressive bastard!” throws the money at me and pushes me off the porch. At least he paid. No tip.. Guess who is on the no delivery list.”

“After a delivery I was walking back to my car and I got to my door and a guy came up to me and told me to give him all the money in my car. I said “No, I’m not losing my job tonight” he threw a punch and I used my 7 years of martial arts training to bury this fucker in the asphalt. I held him down and called the cops. Turns out he is a 15 year old kid from a well off family, now he is in juvy. No tip.”

“*sigh* ..Okay. I knocked on the door and the guy said “Come in!”(insert pennsyltuckey accent here) I open the door, huge ass dog comes charging. tackles me and goes right for the fuckong neck. I held him back until his owner decided it was high time to probably stop what could be considered manslaughter. He gets the dog off of me and I told him that he should try to hold back an aggressive dog before the delivery guy gets here. He says “Well maybe you shouldn’t have provoked him”….. No tip. Another name on my special list.”

See Also: Your Phone Is Kind Of Really F****** You Up

Post by Ryan Scott

Twitter: @RyanScottWrites




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