Expectation: Crossing the threshold like in the movies.
Reality: Drunkenly forgetting any traditions and stumbling through the doors in a post-wedding daze.
Expectation: First magical conversation alone in the room.
Reality: Slurring mess about either love or hunger from not eating — impossible to tell which.
This is when 40% of couples will pass out.
Expectation: Making love immediately.
Reality: Ordering pizza immediately.
Expectation: Getting undressed.
Reality: The event of getting undressed.
Expectation: Consummating with ease.
Reality: Powering through drunkenness and pizza bloat to make it happen.
This is when the remaining 50% of couples will give up and pass out.
Expectation: Orgasming (only 10% of couples will make it this far).
Reality: Orgasming with some extra effort.
Expectation: Falling asleep in each other’s arms after one of the best days of your life.
Reality: Drunkenly passing out in each other’s arms after one of the best days of your life.