BuzzFeed asked their community how they thought sex worked as children, here are the 21 most ridiculously hilarious answers:
1. “I thought that when a woman wanted a baby she’d write a letter and burn it. Then the spirit of multiple babies would come and sniff her butt. The one that liked it the most would be her baby.” —madamaddie
2. “When I was a kid, I used to think that if someone didn’t flush the toilet and they had gone pee (and they were the opposite sex of you) and you went pee too that it would make a baby.” —amandab164
“I thought you were pregnant the moment you had your period and the boy closest to you was the father. When I first got my period I was 9 and it was during Disney’sThe Hunchback of Notre Dame. I screamed all the way home because I thought Quasimodo made me pregnant and I was going to have an ugly baby.” —kaliamonetc.
4. “I can’t believe I’m putting this on here, but until I was 16 I thought male pubic hair covered the whole penis. Like the whole thing. All of it.” —Rebekah Hickson
“When I use to see guys with sagging pants, I thought their penises were extremely long and that’s why their pants were so low.” —calista.
6. “…There was a commercial for glow-in-the-dark condoms claiming that they protected you in the bedroom and kept you safe… All I could imagine was this little glowing robot that sat on your bedroom floor at night.” —Danielle Seminsky
7. “Until I was 8 I thought babies came out of your butt.” —Stayce Tylicki
“I spent a pretty long time thinking gay sex was when two men stabbed at each other with their penises, sword-fighting style. Boy, was I wrong.” —jakeolantern.
9. “I thought that men got pregnant with boys and women got pregnant with girls.” —Erinne Beachler
“I used to think people got pregnant because the couple sat down together and had a special meal, like a special herb or root, which made the woman pregnant.” —thisisarshi
11. “When I was in kindergarten a classmate told me that having sex was when you took little toy dinosaurs and rubbed them on your private parts and I believed her.” —Britney Hose
12. “I used to think sex consisted of each person literally kissing each other’s butt cheeks.” —kimberleyb428486db6
“Until very recently I had this conceptualization that penises were like vaginas but inside out, spongy, and self-lubricating, kind of like slugs. This meant that I was extra horrified when men left the bathroom without washing their hands, because I imagined them covered in some sort of penis juice.” —bubblegumsax
14. “I used to think that the penis moved itself, like some weird psychosexual robot. The girl would turn the guy on and lie down and the guy would position himself and his dick would, like, have at it.” —beckyt5
“When I was younger, I thought that for some strange reason ‘spooning’ was putting a spoon up your partner’s butt to relieve constipation. My friends would talk about spooning and I would just visualize a cold spoon and shiver.” —kennedyjoc
16. “I used to think that balls were inside the penis instead of being two separate things.” —amandalynnel
17. “When one of my friends was a kid, they thought a woman became pregnant when the dad elbowed the mom in the stomach. True story.” —nccrnina
“I accidentally saw my dad’s penis when I was around 3 or 4, but then somehow changed the memory of this in my mind so that it had looked like a unicorn horn. I legit thought that penises looked like unicorn horns until the third grade.” —elleh400b602e8
19. “I used to think that if a man touched a woman’s boobs she would get pregnant. Just automatically, as soon as she was touched, she started growing a fetus. Like, boob touch… POOF! Pregnant!” —Theresa Murphy
“I thought that ‘your penis would grow’ meant I’d grow more penises [as I got older].
You have no idea what the drawings of my grandpa looked like.” —giuliaf4a26132fa
21. “I thought the hymen covered the entire entrance of the vagina, and I was convinced that in order to have sex the penis would have to puncture the hymen like punching through a wall.” —lauracorinas