1. For the first time in four (five?) years, your week isn’t divided into class-sized chunks. Which means time no longer makes sense.
2. You finally have to face the insurmountable task of job hunting, which now requires more than just having ‘a flexible schedule.’
3. People keep asking for a ‘letter of recommendation,’ and you realize talking to your professor at least once a semester would have been helpful right about now.
4. It suddenly becomes perfectly clear that the grades you’ve been slaving for matter to absolutely no one besides your Mom.
5. The bank calls to say “Happy Graduation!” and also your first loan payment will be due in six short months.
6. Depressed by the size of your student loan payments, you text a few friends about hanging out–only to discover you’re the only one left in town.
7. The lack of entry level positions that value your advanced understanding of “The Theory and History of Video Games” hits you like a ton of bricks.
8. You had to stop yourself from double-spacing your woefully short resume at least five times.
9. You have a minor coronary you have when the interviewer says, “Tell me a little bit about yourself” and you realize you’re not really sure who that is.
10. You keep scanning job listings for an “attendance optional” policy, and keep coming up empty.
11. Your debit card gets denied at 7-11 and you try to make a joke but “broke college graduate” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
12. Desperate, you take a temp job and suddenly realize that asshole professor was actually a test run for your new asshole boss.
13. Running late on your second day, you dash to work in your pajamas. You’re shocked to learn a) you’re the only one and b) no one thinks it’s cute.
14. While setting up your calendar, you become keenly aware that the things formerly known as “Fall Break” “Winter Break” and “Spring Break” are now just “WORKDAYS.”
15. It becomes painfully clear that you’re officially too poor to go to bars with expensive drinks, but too old to go to college bars with cheap drinks.
16. After a long day of interviews, you’re finally ready to admit that having a roommate is no longer an awesome adventure in rent-splitting.
17. You’re stunned to learn that despite acing Calculus 301, you are woefully unequipped to do your own taxes.
18. Unable to pick up hotties by borrowing a pencil in class, you realize you might have to (brace yourself) try online dating.
19. You have this desperate thought at least 10 times a day.