28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated

Slurring Shatner quotes does not make you a star ship captain. No need to buy the uniform on a drunken shopping spree.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated star trek

This is what happens when you shop for clothes while drinking alone with the cat.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated cat sweater

It doesn’t make so much sense when you’re sober does it?

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated unicorn shirt

Just remember, you may have the munchies now, but you will probably be sober when the giant bag of cereal marshmallows gets delivered.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated cereal marshmallows

Now that you’re clear headed, do you really want this hanging on your wall?

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated dog print

You may look cool to other high people while wearing this.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated galaxy cat shirt

The sober ladies you hit on will not think this is funny.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated suck my balls

Handerpants were funny, until you woke up with a hangover and underwear on your hands.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated handerpants

 Strawberry Jell-O shots can really fire up your imagination.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated strawberry cat bed

You’re dog is probably not a big a fan of Jurassic Park as you are.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated dino dog costume

And do you really want to eat your breakfast on these placemats with a hangover?

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated dino placemats

You should probably stop watching Cars while drunk when this gets delivered to your door.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated cars sunshade

All your party guests seem to be a bit one dimensional…

Steve Buscemi does not actually make a good fashion statement, please don’t put him on your ears.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated steve buscemi earrings

So you can walk around the mall while drinking discretely, that’s seemed like a god idea while you were still drunk anyway.

It’s not so inspirational when you sober up.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicatedbobs burgers tina bag

Maybe you and all your friends will enjoy playing this game while inebriated.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated japanese hitler game

You’re a jackass while drunk, not a stud.

This Cheshire Cat mannequin will scare the shit out of you when you wake up hung over.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated cheshire cat manequin

For all those lonely nights you spend drinking alone. Or at least you will be drinking alone when your friends see these on your couch.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated makeout pillow

This taxidermied squirrel is not intimidating enough to keep people out of your liquor cabinet.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated taxedermi squirrel

This real Kangaroo scrotum keychain does not prove to your buddies that you “have the balls.”

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated kangaroo balls

No matter how drunk you are, the 90s are not coming back.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated pogs

You are going to get real tired of hot dogs after having a toaster that cooks nothing but hot dogs for a while.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated hot dog toaster

That drunken Freddy Mercury karaoke party may have inspired this purchase.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated freddy mercury plate

You must be really high to spend your money on literally nothing.

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated air guitar

Lady GaGa is quite an inspiration to drunk fashion!

28 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shop While Intoxicated plush pants

When you’re so drunk that you think you may have found the real Dragon Balls for sale online…

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