Not Sure What To Get Your Loved One For Valentine’s Day? Go With A Chocolate Butthole!

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Not sure what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day? Now you can get them a chocolate butthole.

The price of these chocolate poo-pushers? $39.95. (For under 40 bucks you can have someone eating @ss.  Trust your rascally writer, in today’s market that’s a good deal.)

Edible Anus also offers rectal-t-shirts, poo cards and anal sculptures made of bronze or glass. Yes, while the chocolate buttholes are not modeled after your own anus, you can get a bronze duplicate of your very own rectal rosebud. All you need to do is fly to the UK and make an appointment with the “butt magician” Magnus Irvin. (Would it be funnier if his first name was MagNUM?)

Irvin, who has been sculpting anal apertures in chocolate for 15 years, is now even working in glass and metal. He states: “The molds are available to anyone who wants their own anus cast, or a copy of someone else’s anus. It just seemed to make some sort of poetic sense.”

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The entire anal experience and casting process takes approximately 30 minutes. It is done using a special alginate gel. It’s the same stuff dentists use to make mouth molds. (Yeah, there’s a sideline for your oral surgeon, huh?)

The price tag for your custom bronze anus mold? With current exchange rates, approximately $1,900. (Yeah, there’s a Visa/Mastercard “priceless” gag in there somewhere but let’s just move on to answering the question, mmmkay?)

Why would anyone give a chocolate butthole for a gift?   Or a bronze copy for that matter?

Adrian Garcia, contributor to The Gaily Grind, suggests that gay and bisexual men may want to give a chocolate butthole for a gift as a way of expressing a request for anilingus. (Google it.)  Other online posters note that this could apply to heterosexual couples too.

Garcia also notes that people might also “send chocolate shaped buttholes to your . . . enemies and scare the sh*t out of them.”

Former Penn State penman Jack S. Chesney adds: “Chocolate buttholes make a great gag gift . . . especially if your friend is a real @ssmunch.  They’d also be great as a break-up gift. Haven’t you ever wanted to tell a former lover to kiss your @ss?”

Apparently, there’s more to giving chocolate buttholes than meets the (brown) eye.

Why would anyone give a chocolate butthole for a gift? Now you know.

Via Will Phoenix

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