1. Buying a generic greeting card for your Valentine
It just doesn’t seem very special when you pick out a card from a department store along with 50 other people clogging up the aisle. Why not put your heart into it and write out your own card?
2. Telling your Valentine “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day” when you actually do
If you really don’t want anything, cool, but don’t go off pouting when your significant other shows up empty handed.
3. Posting tons of pictures of the sweet things your “amazing” Valentine did for you
You’re just contributing to the endless pictures of roses everyone’s going to be seeing on their news feed. Did you even consider how all your single friends feel about it being shoved in their face?
4. Posting long status updates about how you are PROUD to be #single and how this is just a stupid #Hallmarkholiday
Your hashtags can’t hide the fact that you actually DO care about being super single and how you would secretly love to be contributing to the bombardment of flower pictures. Unless you really are just that negative of a person.
5. Calling restaurants on the morning of February 14th and getting angry when there are no more available reservations
Everyone knows that is cutting it way too close, there is not going to be anything available. You really need to learn to be more prepared ahead of time.
6. Proposing or getting married
There is a serious lack of originality here.
7. Calling it “Singles Awareness Day”
It is understandable that you feel left out with all the couples posting all those lovey dovey Instagram photos. But being bitter about it is not going to get you laid any time soon.
8. Pretending to be in a relationship with inanimate objects
It’s just not funny anymore.
9. Refusing to do anything for your loved one because it’s just a “stupid commercial holiday”
If your S.O. is super pumped about Valentine’s Day, but you are too wrapped up in being anti-establishment to care, stop. There are plenty of things you can do without spending a dime, such as making them dinner, writing them a letter, and quitting your whining.
10. Engaging in way too much PDA
The couples enjoying a nice Valentine’s Day lunch didn’t ask to see softcore porn in the next booth over. And that goes for every other day of the year too.
11. Trying to get a hold of your ex
They have probably moved on and got themselves another Valentine. You should too.
12. Surprising a just-friend with something romantic
If you are in the friendzone, trying too hard on Valentines day is just going to turn out awkward.
13. Being somebody’s secret admirer
Haven’t you ever been taught not to accept candy from a stranger? Secret admirers are not romantic, they are stalkers.
14. Getting Valentine-themed teddy bears
Unless your significant other is really into teddy bears, they probably won’t know what to do with yet another cheap stuffed bear holding a plush heart. And let’s be real here: you know you only got it because you had no idea what else to give them.
15. Complaining about being “forever alone”
Exactly zero people in recorded history have ever listened to someone bemoan how “all men are pigs” or “women don’t want nice guys like me” and decided that that was a person they wanted to date. Don’t be That Guy or Girl on Valentine’s Day. Or any other day of the year. But especially Valentine’s Day.