The History of 13 Countries in 15 Words or Less. This Nails the U.S.

The United Kingdom

Had the largest empire ever, but lost it due to drinking too much tea.

 

Russia

Then things got worse...

 

Austria

Austria's greatest accomplishment is convincing the world that Beethoven was Austrian and Hitler was German.

 

Canada

We love you, England, but get out.

 

Italy

We were really important but now we make shoes.

 

The Netherlands

Looks like the sea wants to kill us again.

 

New Zealand

Lord of the Rings

 

North Korea

All is fine. No more questions. Eternal President will lead us to victory.

 

Portugal

We had a huge empire; now everyone thinks we're Spain.

 

Switzerland

Sure, we'll take your money.

 

Greece

We did a bunch of shit for mankind like 10,000 years ago; now we're bankrupt.

 

Australia

Still ruled by a classy older lady in England because we are too distracted by the large amount of native fauna trying to kill us to declare independence.

 

The United States

Freedom**terms and conditions may apply.

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