1. You shower the night before so you can sleep in for an extra 15 minutes.
Every minute of sleep in the morning is valuable and precious.
2. You also pick your outfit the night before…
Ain’t nobody got time for making early-morning decisions.
3. …as well as preparing your lunch. Preparation = more zzzz’s.
4. You often skip breakfast so you can sleep longer.
Coffee later in the day counts as breakfast, right?
5. Your mornings revolve around hitting your snooze button repetitively.
Anything to delay getting up.
6. And as soon as your alarm goes off, the first phrases you utter are all swearwords.
7. Your life is all about setting a new record for getting ready.
Obviously then you can use the rest of the time to do more important things. Like sleep.
8. You are incapable of stringing together coherent sentences before 9am.
10. You struggle through public transport every morning.
As you attempt to not fall asleep before your stop.
11. And more often than not, you’re late for work.
12. You get super confused when people rave about how amazing the sunrise was.
13. What is a sunrise?
14. Do they know sunsets are actually way better?
Because it’s a far more acceptable time to be awake.
15. You have perpetual resting bitchface until at least noon.
16. As a result, people are often asking you why you’re so angry.
17. Um, because, it’s too early to be up, idiots, more like, WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?!
18. You spend your days counting down the hours until you see your one true love again.
Your bed, that is.
19. And your week counting down to your Saturday sleep-in.
Where it’s perfectly acceptable to stay in bed until noon.